What is Toxic Positivity?


Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is a term used to describe an excessive and unhealthy focus on positivity, to the point where negative emotions and experiences are discouraged or invalidated. It involves the belief that it is always necessary to think and speak positively, and that any negativity or negative experiences should be suppressed or ignored.

Toxic positivity is harmful because it can prevent individuals from acknowledging and addressing negative emotions or experiences, leading to emotional avoidance and denial. This can have a number of negative consequences, including:

  • Hindering emotional growth and development: By denying or suppressing negative emotions, individuals may be unable to process and learn from these experiences, leading to a lack of emotional growth and development.
  • Damaging relationships: By invalidating or minimizing the emotions of others, toxic positivity can damage relationships and create a sense of disconnection or isolation.
  • Increasing stress and anxiety: By putting pressure on oneself or others to always be positive, toxic positivity can create an unhealthy level of stress and anxiety.
  • Impeding problem-solving: By avoiding or denying negative emotions or experiences, individuals may be unable to effectively identify and address problems or challenges, leading to a lack of progress or resolution.
  • Undermining mental health: By preventing individuals from acknowledging and addressing negative emotions, toxic positivity can contribute to the development of mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety.

Overall, toxic positivity is harmful because it prevents individuals from taking a healthy and balanced approach to emotions, leading to emotional avoidance and denial, and potentially causing a number of negative consequences.

What distinguishes good positivity from bad positivity? 

Good positivity is characterized by a balanced and healthy approach to emotions, while bad positivity, or toxic positivity, involves an excessive and unhealthy focus on positivity.

Some ways to distinguish good positivity from bad positivity include:

  • Good positivity involves acknowledging and accepting both positive and negative emotions and experiences, while toxic positivity involves denying or suppressing negative emotions and experiences.
  • Good positivity involves finding healthy ways to cope with and manage negative emotions, while toxic positivity involves unhealthy avoidance or denial of negative emotions.
  • Good positivity involves finding joy and meaning in life despite challenges, while toxic positivity involves an unhealthy pressure to always be positive and to ignore or downplay negative experiences.
  • Good positivity involves being accepting and supportive of others, while toxic positivity involves invalidating or minimizing the emotions of others.
  • Good positivity involves being authentic and genuine, while toxic positivity involves a false or superficial focus on positivity.

Examples of Toxic Positivity

Here are some examples of toxic positivity:

  • Refusing to acknowledge or discuss negative emotions or experiences: This might involve saying things like "Don't worry, be happy" or "Everything happens for a reason" in an attempt to minimize or dismiss negative emotions.
  • Invalidating the emotions of others: This might involve telling someone who is upset that they shouldn't feel that way or that their emotions are not valid.
  • Pretending that everything is always okay: This might involve forcing a smile or a positive attitude even when things are not going well, in an attempt to hide or ignore negative emotions.
  • Focusing solely on the positive: This might involve only sharing positive experiences or highlights on social media, or only talking about positive things, in an attempt to present a perfect or flawless image.
  • Pressuring others to always be positive: This might involve telling others that they should always be happy or that it is not okay to feel sad or upset.

Toxic Positivity VS Optimism

Toxic positivity and optimism are two different attitudes towards emotions and experiences. Here are some ways in which they differ:

  • Approach to emotions: Toxic positivity involves an excessive and unhealthy focus on positivity, and involves denying or suppressing negative emotions and experiences. Optimism, on the other hand, involves a more balanced and healthy approach to emotions, and involves acknowledging and accepting both positive and negative emotions and experiences.
  • Coping with challenges: Toxic positivity involves unhealthy avoidance or denial of negative emotions or experiences, while optimism involves finding healthy ways to cope with and manage challenges.
  • Impact on relationships: Toxic positivity can damage relationships by invalidating or minimizing the emotions of others, while optimism can strengthen relationships by being supportive and understanding.
  • Mental health: Toxic positivity can be harmful to mental health by preventing individuals from acknowledging and addressing negative emotions, while optimism has been linked to improved mental health and well-being.

How to Avoid Toxic Positivity?

Here are some ways to avoid toxic positivity and cultivate a more healthy and balanced approach to emotions:

  • Acknowledge and accept all emotions: Allow yourself to experience and express a range of emotions, without judgment or pressure to always be positive.
  • Learn healthy coping strategies: Find healthy ways to cope with and manage negative emotions, such as through mindfulness techniques, exercise, or talking to a trusted friend or family member.
  • Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you are experiencing negative emotions, rather than trying to suppress or ignore them.
  • Validate the emotions of others: Recognize that it is normal and healthy to experience a range of emotions, and validate the emotions of others without trying to fix or change them.
  • Seek support: Don't be afraid to seek help or support when you are struggling with negative emotions. A mental health professional or trusted friend or family member can be a great resource.
  • Find joy and meaning in life: Cultivate activities and experiences that bring you joy and fulfillment, and focus on the positive aspects of your life.

Coping With Toxic Positivity

  1. Toxic positivity can be challenging to cope with, especially if you are on the receiving end of it. Here are some tips for coping with toxic positivity:
  2. Recognize toxic positivity for what it is: It can be helpful to understand that toxic positivity is an unhealthy approach to emotions, and that it is not a healthy or helpful way to cope with negative emotions or experiences.
  3. Validate your own emotions: It is normal and healthy to experience a range of emotions, and it is important to validate and acknowledge your own emotions without judgment or pressure to always be positive.
  4. Seek support: Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and validate your emotions. A mental health professional or trusted friend or family member can be a great resource.
  5. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and find healthy ways to cope with negative emotions.
  6. Set boundaries: It is okay to set boundaries with individuals who are exhibiting toxic positivity. You have the right to your own emotions and experiences, and you do not have to tolerate invalidation or minimization of your feelings.

By following these tips, you can better cope with toxic positivity and prioritize your own emotional well-being.