For people to have flaws and imperfections is natural, but it is indeed difficult to learn to accept yourself and live with your own flaws. You might fall into a tendency to judge and criticize yourself when you feel lacking, and often you would go too hard on ourselves.
If you think you frequently criticize yourself when experiencing a drawback, or find it hard to appreciate your own strength, then you need to practice self-acceptance. It is important to do, because when you are unable to accept the things in you, you can be vulnerable to self-sabotaging. Learning to appreciate yourself can bring peace into your life.
Before you try to find the good in you, and practice on how to appreciate your shortcomings, first you need to know the meaning of self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is a way for you to accept all of your positive and negative attributes. It does not rely on external situations, achievements, or success. It focuses on what is inside, so no matter what happens around you, you will still be able to give yourself a break and show compassion. Here is how you can start practicing to accept the good and bad in you.
Mistakes and faults are unpredictable things you can’t avoid hundred percent. So, understanding that you are not perfect, and you can’t always receive an impeccable result on the things you do will help you in your journey of self-acceptance. Mistakes and faults are just obstacles that will help you learn and grow better in the future.
When you always want to be perfect in everything, you might ignore your capabilities. This is why after trying to stop aiming for perfection, you should learn to start appreciating what you can do. Start to list down the attempt you made when trying to achieve something in life. You will see that there are things about you outside of success or failure.
Focusing on success or failure also makes you prone to extreme self-criticism. So, when you stop aiming for perfection, start to ignore the criticism coming from yourself. It does not mean you will not learn from your mistakes, it means you will stop beating yourself when the outcome is not pleasurable.
Start listening to your thoughts and feelings. Question and challenge yourself by knowing what certain areas in your life that you are anxious about, find out the things about you that you are ashamed of and things you avoid to think about. This is a way for you to start being aware of the things you find hard to accept and to validate your own feelings.
When you know you are not perfect and you listen to your feelings, you will learn to start forgiving yourself. It's important to understand that you did the best you could at that time and acknowledge that you can no longer change your past failures and mistakes. When you are able to forgive yourself, it sets you free from the pain of your past and allows you to live more fully in the present.
In order for you to avoid self-sabotaging and live a peaceful life, you must start learning to accept yourself. It can be a long, difficult, and challenging journey, but it will all become an advantage for you and your life.